I am finding it hard to not get concerned for this pregnancy. I guess it may be my age or just the many high risk issues I am having to deal with this one. My last pregnancy was so easy (or it seems that way now) compared to how this one is turning out. But of course things can still change. But for some reason, I am finding it hard to imagine it turning out as I had hoped in the begining.
In the begining, I had imagined another beautiful home birth, but this time a water birth. The thought of laboring in the warm water seems so relaxing and painfree (I know, wishful thinking....right???). I also imagined only my midwife, family and closest friends there to welcome my little one. But as of my 20 week ultra sound, that has all seemed to go by the way side.
Now I imagine bed rest, lots of restrictions, and possible bad outcomes. The 20 week ultra sound showed that I have complete placenta previa, which means the placenta is blocking the babies exit. This can cause serious blood loss and possible death if it gets too bad. It can also mean a hysterectomy if bleeding can't be controlled after delivery. Oh and I didn't mentiont the obvious.....a c-section, possibly an emergency c-section at that.
Plus, baby has two issues that, in and of themselves, are no big deal and should resolve on their own. But, they are "soft markers" to down syndrome. So that makes me a little nervous, but doesn't change the way I will feel toward my baby. I love him unconditionally and will take him however the Lord sees fit. Oh, did I mention that it is our first boy after having six girls :)
So with all of this being said, I am playing the waiting game to find out more information as to whether or not the placenta has moved (so I can have my home birth) or if I will end up in the hospital having a c-section. I have my next visit with my midwife in one week and will be scheduling the next U/S at that time (which should be just a couple days later).
To Be Continued.......
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